I miss you... I know I shouldn't but I do... So, this is for you.

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Jinni

If I Knew....

If I knew that I was going to die tomorrow, then what would I do? I asked myself this question. Many do not know beforehand that their time is up in this world. But for those who do, would they dwell on this question, I wondered. So, I asked myself, what would I do, if I knew.

I would go to my dad, give him a hug and tell him that I love him very much. I’ll thank him for looking after me. And ask him to feed me with his own hands, one last time.

I would call my ex-husband and talk to him one last time and wish him all the best in this world and thank him for showing me the light within me, for showing me what a real family is like, for teaching me how to be a good wife, sister, daughter, friend, lover, mother. And for keeping me grounded. I’ll ask him to do the same for his current wife.

I would call my brother and tell him how much he means to me and how grateful I am to have had such a brother.

I would tell my sisters to smile when they remember me and to look after dad and bro.

I would go and sleep in my aunt’s lap just for a while and thank her for being my mum.

I would ask the woman who, though unwillingly, brought me into this world, if she had, even for a moment, felt anything other than hate for me. I would ask her why she hated me, even before she saw me or knew me.

I would thank my neighbours for treating me as an equal member of their family.

I would go through my pictures and tell my children that it won’t be long before I am with them and ask them to forgive me for my sin.

I would thank the man who made me fall in love again in this life. I’ll thank him for teaching me that it is worth my while to look back and wait for that person to catch up to me. That sometimes it is worth giving a person a second chance in life.

I would sit down and re-write my Will again, and make sure that there are no lose ends when I am gone.

I would pray to God Al’Mighty, just one last time, and complete my prayers, instead of hashing through it. God Al’Mighty, have mercy on my soul.

Inna li’Allahi wa inna ilaihi raaji oon – From Allah we come and to Him we shalt return.

J ¡ η η !

21 August 2006, 11:24AM

Ramazaan Mubarik

Will You Be My Forever Friend...

Crumbling...

Pearl white sandy dune, crumbling beneath my feet. My cheeks flashing hot as I am caught unawares. Landing in a heap at the base, I look about to make sure that no one saw me. Alas, to my horror, I find that all eyes are upon me.

J ị Ŋ Ŋ ị
04 September 2006, 02:18AM

Mommy's Job...

What Makes A Mother

I thought of you and closed my eyes, and prayed to God today. I asked, "What makes a mother?" and I know I heard him say, "A mother has a baby". This we know is true. But God, can you be a mother when your baby's not with you? "Yes, you can", He replied, with confidence in His voice. "I give many women babies, when they leave is not their choice. Some I send down for a lifetime and others for the day and some I send to fill your womb, but there's no need to stay." "I just don't understand this God, I want my baby here." He took a breath and cleared His throat and then I saw a tear. "I wish I could show you what your child is doing today. If you could see your child smile, with other children and say.... 'We go to earth to learn our lessons of love and life and fear, my Mommy loved me so much I got to come straight here. I feel so lucky to have a Mom who had so much love for me. I learned my lessons very quickly, my mommy set me free.' 'I miss my mommy oh so much but I visit her each day. When she goes to sleep, on her pillow is where I lay. I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek, and whisper in her ear, 'Mommy don't be sad today, I'm your baby and I'm here.' "So you see my dear sweet one, your children are ok. Your babies are here in my home, and this is where they'll stay. They'll wait for you with Me until your lesson is through. And on the day that you come home, they'll be at the gates for you. So now you know what makes a mother, it's the feeling in your heart. It's the love you had so much of, right from the very start. Though some of earth may not realize, until their time is done, remember all the love you have and know that you are a special mom."

This was written by Ms. Jennifer Wasik, in loving memory of her beloved son, Zachary. I felt that this portrayed something significant to me in words, which I feel I am short of to describe the loss. Ali, my Ali.

Believe in God, have faith in Him and you shall not lose for He shall reward you if not in this world then in the next. This lifes trials, tribulations & sorrow are just our exam for today, our entrance to paradise tomorrow. And on That Day we shall be with our loved ones.
"Innaa li'Allahi wa innaa ilaihi raajiun" - From God we come & to Him we shall return.

Sleepy Yet Sleepless Nights...

The night was turning into a series of disasters. First I had the little accident with the hot wok and burned the tip of my left hand little finger, in which process I threw up the cut veggies into the air. They were everywhere, including my hair, kitchen floor, cupboards, you name it, it seems to be there. Next my friend who fervently promised she would visit me didn't turn up & no phone calls either about the delay or cancellation. I wait for an hour and give her a buzz to find that she is in the middle of a party on her own. Ok, lucky for me I had cleared up & showered in that time, so I call dhatha & I went to her place to hang out with her kids they we went for our usual nightly haunt. Tonight just seems so frustrating. Aaakh... Something, no... someone was on my mind and I cant seem to get him out of there. Okay, so we strolled all through our normal routes, talking about everything under the sky and got back just a tad later than normal. I go back home, checked that everything was in order and get into bed. Just then I remembered that my cousin had asked me that he had wanted to chat with me later tonight, so I go online from my mobile phone and lo & behold, the holder of my thought was online. I ignored the little annoyingly nagging voice that told me to say hi to him and scrolled until I saw that my cousin & his wife were online. We chatted a bit and serious matters start cropping up. They wanted to call me...ok the sun is just setting for yesterday in UK but here in the dead zone Maldives, it is the middle of the night. But then the issue at hand couldn't be avoided, so I disconnected and called them. The so called little chat turned into a full on discussion which lasted almost three hours. While I was on the phone I got a message from a friend in Pakistan & I just ignored it, as it wasn't important to me. The conversation is over & so seemed like my sleep for the night. Ok so I gotta get some Zzzzzzs before I go to work or else my nerves are gonna be shot. So I crawl under my beloved blankie and hug my Dolphy close to me and squeezed my eyes shut. I tried counting backwards from a hundred but my interest span is so short that it didnt hold for much long. I started thinking about Mazhab... a muslim jinn that I had heard about from some friends. I wondered what it would be like, if I met him and talked to him as another fellow creature. And upon this thought my mind started drifting off to sleep. Just as my mind was about to press the switch off button the shrilling of the phone made me jump out of my skin. I groan & reach out to the phone and just as I pick it up, the caller hanged up. Hell and damnations, who could be calling me at this ungodly hour? I send of a couple of smses to a few of my overseas contacts as the number listed on it showed that it was an overseas call. I stayed up for almost half an hour and then gave up on whoever to ring me back. So I lay down on my bed and tried to snuggle as close to Dolphy as I possibly could. The minute I feel sleep is within my grasp, the phone rings, through the haze of grogginess, I realize that this time it is a vaguely familiar ring tone. I pick up the phone and said "Hello?" in the most sleep filled, sleep depraved, sexually frustrated voice that I ever seemed to have uttered in my entire life. I caller at the other end seemed to chuckle before replying, "Sabah al khair ya Noor il ain". My eyes bulge out of my sockets and my heart just skipped a beat or two. It was my ex-husband. Turns out that it wasn't the who had called me earlier but had not wanted to send me an sms in case I dont get it. God, I wanted to cry & laugh at the same time. Felt like a dam broke and emotions just flooded back. We caught up on each other and I couldnt help but shed silent tears as he told me that his wife is now five months pregnant. I would have kicked him had he been near. How could he be so thoughtless as to remind me that he is gonna be a dad just two days before the date I lost my son, Ali. Yet, I didnt have the heart to spoil his joy. My love for him has no bounds and borders. I smiled and laughed at the appropriate moments but I should have known that he, unlike other men, are very accute to my moods and emotions. He point blank told me not to cry and then I really burst out crying. How could I not, when he is there, just a whisper away, telling me that he loved me and yet would like to see me settle down, have kids of my own and be happy? So almost after an hour we put down the phone and I spent a little time to wallow in a little self pity. I mentally licked my wounds as a cat would have done and scolded myself to pull myself together. Having settle down once again, I get another sms from the friend in Pakistan & realize it was he who had probably called me earlier. I file this under my "Not Important" messages category in my brain and this time resolved to grab a few winks just before going to work in one hours time.

Ya habibi Hamoodi. Thank you for everything. You were the last person that I would have chosen to talk about my confused state of mind, since you have remarried and all that. But I guess three blissful years of marriage can't that easily be erased from ones mind. Anyway, thank you. Thank you for all your help and support. May God Almighty bless your marriage and your unborn child. My every breathe is a prayer and praise for you. Take care my one & only hamoodi.

WANTED

WANTED

A room mate for Jinni for exactly a period of 2 weeks, to keep her company during the time when her current housemate is away on business.

Applicants should...
Be not too messy in their daily routine.
Keep a good flow of conversation with Jinni.
Willing to help out in the house work at times.
Not slave drive Jinni.

Advantages of being Jinni's room mate...
Will cook your meals for you... and it wont be burnt.
Will do your other chores for you... only during your stay.
One wish per day will be granted... within reasons
(I'm a Jinni in a bottle baby, gotta rub me the right way honey)
Entertainment galore to those who know how.

So all those who are interested, please send in your application forms to me by the end of the day tomorrow. Closing time for all applications will be at 5:00PM (Maldives time) tomorrow,
11 September 2006, when my housemates exact departure time will be announced.

Sincerely
Jinni
~~~!i!~~~

Dear all,

Thank you for your applications. My sis left last night (10th September 2006) itself. After having thought about the matter deeply I have come to the conclusion that there is no one on this earth who could replace her, not even temporarily. So I regret to inform you all that all your applications have been cancelled and that no further application will be accepted.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,
Jinni

Baby, Just Come To Me...

Like the summer ocean breeze, come to me.
Like the raven waiting for the spring thaw, come to me.
Like a comet in its unbending orbit, come to me.
Like a seedling reaching out to the sun, come to me.
Like the clouds that gather for a storm, come to me.
Like a river that twists & turns & bends at curbs, come to me.
Baby, just come to me.

J ĩ η η ĩ
03 September 2006, 07:32PM

~* Boyfriend Application *~

Name:
Age:
Location:
Sexual Preference:
Eye color:
Hair Color:
Favorite Bands:
Favorite Movies:
Favorite Food:
Smoke?:
Drink?:
Drive?:
Job?:
Piercings?:
Where?:
Tatoos?:
Where?:
Why Are you Applying?:
Whats the last relationship you were in:
What would you want to do if we hungout:
Your idea of a perfect date:
One special thing about you:
One special thing about me:
How much do you want to hang out:
If you could give me anything in the world what would it be :
Do you believe in love :
Do you think you have anything in common with me?
What do you think of me :
Do you play any instruments and/or sing:
Your favorite body part on me:
Am I a nice girl?(be honest):
Do you think im sexy?
Why would you date me?
Would you break my heart?
Would you kiss one of my friends to hurt me?
Would you play hard to get?
Would you run off with me at random times?
What would you do to get my attention?
Why would you be a good boyfriend?
Do you like to Kiss?
Do you like to Cuddle?
Would you do any of the above with me?
Would you tell me the truth ALWAYS?
and... WHY SHOULD I CHOOSE YOU!?:
Is there anything you need to add to this application?: